My Girl
by anotherredhead
Summary: Kitty struggles to understand Matt's behavior following a harrowing experience. An ATC to The Dreamers.
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimers apply. An ATC to the episode "The Dreamers" from Season 7, written by John Meston. Thanks to some special friends who challenged me to tackle this episode and offered helpful suggestions.

My Girl

Chapter 1

Kitty Russell closed her eyes and took a deep, calmingbreath_. If the past month were a fish, I'd throw it back_, she thought to herself.

Against all odds, she was standing in front of the saloon she still owned and operated, watching through misty eyes as Henry Cairn slowly disappeared from view. If anyone had told her a day ago that she would be shedding tears of pity for the man who had put her through such hell, she wouldn't have believed it. But that man had saved her life last night, and she found herself looking at him through a more forgiving lens today.

Kitty felt as though she had finally awakened from a month long nightmare. She glanced over at Matt Dillon, thumbs hooked in his pants pockets as he stood next to her watching the same bittersweet scene. She found herself looking at him through a different lens today too. This one was not quite so forgiving.

She still couldn't believe that the Henry Cairn situation had gotten so far out of hand. He had initially seemed like many men before him, an overeager admirer with the potential to become a nuisance. It was a scenario with which she had become quite familiar.

Kitty had been the object of more ogling, propositions, and proposals than she cared to remember. Men were drawn to her, as much today as the owner of The Long Branch Saloon as they had been in her earlier years as one of its working girls. She had always been a natural beauty, but the Kitty Russell who was now in her 30's had an added maturity and confidence that made her more desirable than ever.

With years of practice, she had mastered the art of turning men down. She was polite but firm, learning that men's egos were unpredictable and anything less than blunt rejection could be misconstrued as playing hard to get. Kitty Russell was indeed hard to get, but she never played games. She just wasn't willing to settle for less than she deserved.

She had been no less blunt when the now infamous Henry Cairn became the latest man to fall under her unintentional spell. One look at the striking redhead at the end of the bar and he was planning their future together. An unrefined man who had seen none too many baths, Henry Cairn was definitely not her type. Though it wouldn't have mattered what type he was—she was already taken. Not the married kind of taken, but she couldn't have belonged more to a man if she had a ring on her finger and a house full of kids.

Unfortunately for her, Henry wasn't the giving up type either. His dream of traveling east to buy a riverboat with his partner, Jake Fogle, had quickly become sidelined by his newfound love in Dodge. His refusal to accept that Kitty wasn't going to marry him had been infuriating, but she was absolutely blindsided by what had happened next.

Henry's plan to run her out of business had almost worked. Buying The Lady Gay and selling whiskey cheaper than either of them could buy it left The Long Branch with no customers. He figured that a lady without an income would have no choice but to marry him. Of course, this particular lady would starve before she let a man tell her what to do, a fact that could have saved them both a lot of money and aggravation had he actually gotten to know her first.

It turned out The Long Branch wasn't the only thing she almost lost.

Kitty shuddered as she replayed the previous evening's events over and over in her head. Henry's partner had decided that they were never going to get their riverboat as long as Henry's obsession with this woman continued to eat up their time and money. If something drastic didn't happen soon, they were going to lose everything.

Fogle determined that something drastic would have to be Kitty Russell's death. He watched as she was escorted home from a night out with the Marshal, and to his delight her date had left shortly after seeing her inside. Fogle entered with every intention of using his gun to get rid of the only thing standing between him and the Mississippi River. Fortunately for Kitty, Henry had arrived in time to stop him. He had killed his own partner—and along with him, their dream—rather than see an innocent woman die.

As Henry walked away from Dodge forever, leading a donkey in each hand, Kitty was relieved that her ordeal was finally over. She and her business had both survived. But she couldn't help feeling a deep sadness for this man who had gambled everything over some foolish delusion and had lost. His life would never be the same. She wondered if hers would be.

_This wouldn't have happened if only he had claimed me._ Kitty felt almost guilty for having the thought, but it was true. Henry Cairn might have been a crazy old coot, but he likely would not have pursued her had an intimidating six foot, seven inch Marshal uttered two simple, accurate words: "She's mine."

But that would have required a public declaration that he had forbidden to happen. Their affair was to remain clandestine, the eyes of the town seeing only two "very good friends" chatting over a drink or having dinner together. A lot.

Kitty knew they weren't fooling many people, but she picked her battles and decided long ago that this wouldn't be one of them. If it eased his mind to believe that he was protecting her this way, she would not deny him that. In his line of work, anything that made his considerable burden lighter was worth the effort on her part. It was something that came with the privilege of loving and being loved by Matt Dillon.

So while it stung, she understood why he had not attempted to shut Henry Cairn down with those two little words. But he hadn't said any other words either, and that she didn't understand. Even Chester had come to her defense when he witnessed the unwelcome advances of this man who was so clearly overstepping the boundaries of acceptable behavior. But Matt had seemed more like a sympathetic bystander through it all. She had been so melancholy last evening on their date, envisioning her life without The Long Branch and wondering what the future held for her. And he had walked her home and just left her there.

Standing together in front of The Long Branch, Matt turned to Kitty and saw the pained expression on her face. He knew she had been through hell, and he thanked God it was all over.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he offered with a smile. "You sure look like you could use one."

"No thanks," she said. "I have a lot of work to do, and I'm sure you do too." It was a polite tone more suited to a new acquaintance than a lover. Kitty turned and disappeared through the batwing doors.

Matt stood alone in front of The Long Branch. "What was _that_ about?" he wondered.

Matt had a lot to learn about women, but he knew enough to understand that he should follow her in and find out.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

My Girl

Chapter 2

Sam Noonan was behind the bar, preparing for the return of a town full of customers to The Long Branch Saloon. Henry Cairn's almost successful plan to run them out of business would have put him out of a job, but that had not been his main worry. Sam had developed a fierce loyalty to his employer, a woman who treated him like family and had not once made him feel like an underling. He had watched her sadly painting that For Sale sign when she had given up hope of staying in business, and his heart broke at the sight. He couldn't be happier to be behind that bar again, facing a new day as Kitty Russell's barkeep.

He started to say something as she walked through the doors, perhaps share his joy at the re-opening of the establishment they both loved. But Kitty was clearly not in a joyous mood. Sam watched as she slightly lifted her skirt and ran toward the staircase, tears falling down her face. She wanted to make it to her room before she lost her composure completely.

The doors quickly swung open again, and this time Matt Dillon stepped inside. He called out to the woman now halfway up the staircase. "Kitty, wait."

She stopped and quickly wiped away the tears with her hand, taking a deep, shaky breath before turning around. She was going to hold it together in front of him if it was the last thing she did.

Kitty looked at Matt with a blank expression, hoping her poker face would not betray her. But Matt knew her too well. He wasn't sure what the problem was, but he knew those red-rimmed eyes weren't just from sympathy over Henry Cairn's plight.

He walked to the bottom of the staircase and looked up at her. "Please tell me what's wrong," he implored.

She gathered her thoughts for a few seconds before responding. "Well, it's been a pretty rough month," she started. "I had a strange man trying to force me to marry him, almost lost my business, and came close to getting shot. That may not seem like a lot to you, but I'm still a little upset about it."

Matt tried to process her words. Of course she was justified in being upset about what she had just been through. But clearly there was more to it, and it had to do with him.

"Kitty, did I do something?" he asked sincerely.

She thought about the irony of his question. "No, Matt," she replied, swallowing hard. "You didn't do anything at all."

With that she turned and hurried up the stairs, unable to hold back the tears any longer. Matt wanted to stop her but didn't. It seemed like the more he said, the worse she felt.

He heard her bedroom door close, then slowly turned and walked out of the saloon as Sam pretended not to notice.

Kitty grabbed a handkerchief off her dresser and fell onto the bed. She had not been afforded the luxury of falling apart since this whole fiasco had begun. She had been too busy putting out fires and trying to figure out what her next move would be. Now that it was behind her, the floodgates of emotion were opened.

She had spent the past few weeks mourning the expected loss of her business, her home, a place that had become as much a part of her identity as her fiery red hair and matching spirit. She had stepped off that stage in Dodge City seven years ago with nothing but the clothes on her back and the steely determination to make it in a world where women were not expected to succeed at much of anything beyond getting married and having children.

But that world was about to lock horns with Kitty Russell. With a relentless stubborn streak and a head for business, she broke all the rules and replaced them with her own. In the world she created, a woman didn't have to resign herself to being a man's property, either as a wife or a saloon girl getting paid for the privilege. No, she had proven that given the chance, a smart woman was perfectly capable of being her own boss. She was even capable of being a man's boss. There wasn't a person in Dodge who didn't know what Kitty Russell had accomplished, and few who didn't respect her for it.

Matt Dillon certainly did. He wouldn't have been her lover and partner for the past five years if he didn't. Anyone who wondered why no man in Dodge stood a fighting chance with the lovely Miss Russell needed to look no further than the tall, rugged cowboy wearing the badge.

Accepting the realities of that badge required a strong and independent woman, and Kitty was up to the task. She didn't always like the considerable demands of his duties, but she understood them and had made peace with her place in his life a long time ago. The law came first and that was not up for negotiation. But Kitty had known a lot of men, and being second in Matt Dillon's life was a superior place than first in any other man's. She had met her match and lost her heart the day she arrived in Dodge City.

That heart was reeling today. She didn't expect him to fight her battles for her, but he could place those strong, comforting arms around her while she fought them. Perhaps even stand up for her when she was being harassed and bullied—if not as _her_ man, then just as a man. Chester had. But instead, she had only gotten a sympathy beer and an explanation of why the law didn't allow him to do anything. She felt abandoned.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

My Girl

Chapter 3

Matt stepped outside The Long Branch and paused. He hated to leave knowing she was so upset. She had turned away before he could see her face, but he knew she was crying when she ran up those stairs.

A crying woman—possibly the scariest sight in Matt Dillon's world. He felt safer dodging bullets than dealing with emotion. But this wasn't any woman, this was his woman. He would have done anything to dry those tears had he only known how.

Matt's feelings were less obvious but no less intense than Kitty's. He loved her as much as his consuming job and conflicted soul allowed. His previous relationships had been short-lived, casualties of restless youth and incompatible lifestyles. He had decided that a law man with no business getting married perhaps had no business falling in love either. But then he saw her, and it didn't matter what he had decided. He could empathize with poor Henry Cairn in that regard—he knew what it felt like to see a woman and know you loved her before you knew her name. There hadn't been a day in the past five years that he wasn't grateful to be the one lucky man who had gotten a "Yes" from Kitty Russell.

Matt had watched the Henry Cairn situation unfold with mild amusement before it began to bear serious consequences for Kitty. The older man had seemed harmless at first, yet another in a long line of hapless suitors who had no idea what he was up against. Matt often got a kick out of watching Kitty deftly handle admirers, secure in the knowledge that he had no competition for her affection and quietly bursting with pride at that fact. He often teased her about it, and she would give it right back to him. They enjoyed a relationship where no topic was off limits and they could always make each other laugh. It was one of many things that made them tick.

But there had been nothing funny about the rest of the Henry Cairn saga. It had gone from irritation to devastation to almost deadly, and Matt was haunted by the thought of what could have been. Of course, he couldn't have known what Fogle had planned that night. He could only be grateful that Cairn had picked that critical moment to do right by Kitty Russell.

If only he hadn't left her there alone after their date. He frequently stayed overnight, but it hadn't felt right last night. She had been quiet all evening and clearly had a lot on her mind. He told himself that maybe she needed some time alone.

The truth was, he needed some time alone. She had a devastating problem that he couldn't solve, and it almost made him feel impotent. There had been no point in staying if he couldn't make it better.

Matt finally made his way to the jail, finding Chester in the office sorting mail and looking at a new batch of wanted posters.

"Did that Cairn fella leave?" Chester asked his boss.

"Yep," Matt replied. "Just watched him go."

"Good," said Chester with more than a touch of disgust in his voice.

"He did save Kitty's life," Matt reminded him.

"I know," Chester said with slightly less disdain. "But he just about ruined it before he saved it. I still say we should've throwed him outta town before he caused Miss Kitty so much trouble." Chester had made that suggestion several times during Cairn's stay in Dodge. It had been somewhat of a sore subject between the two.

"Look, we've been over this. I didn't like him any better than you did," Matt replied. "But I couldn't do anything. What he was doing wasn't illegal."

"Well maybe it should be," he mused.

"Chester, you can't make it illegal for a man to buy a business," Matt responded, annoyed. Chester tended to get overly emotional at times and lose sight of reason.

"Oh, he wasn't tryin' to run no business," Chester said dismissively. "What kind of businessman loses all his money on purpose?"

Matt chuckled. "That may be true, but there's no law against a man doing something stupid on account of a woman. The jails would be full all the time if there was."

Chester failed to see the humor. "Mister Dillon, all I'm sayin' is a fella shouldn't be allowed to force hisself on a lady like that."

Matt furrowed his brow. "What do you mean force himself on her?" he asked. "He didn't get physical with her did he?" Surely Kitty would have told him something like that.

"Well no, not exactly," Chester explained. "But he kept comin' back in The Long Branch after she told him not to, orderin' her to drink with him and tellin' her she was gonna marry him and all, like she didn't have no choice in the matter. He acted like he owned her or somethin'. What would you call it?"

While Matt was well aware of Henry Cairn's obsession with Kitty, he winced at Chester's description of his actions. Somehow it had sounded less threatening in his head.

"But this is Kitty we're talking about" Matt said defensively. "She knows how to take care of herself. She deals with men's crazy shenanigans all the time."

"Oh, I know that," Chester acknowledged. "But don't you suppose a lady gets awful tired of knowin' she's got to?"

Matt sat in his chair and sighed. Sometimes there was a difference between what was lawful and what was right. He only had to enforce one, but he should have defended both. It would have meant a lot to the woman he loved.

He looked over at his assistant. Chester wasn't the one who had lost sight of reason this time.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

My Girl 

Chapter 4

By late afternoon, business was booming at The Long Branch. Kitty was feeling a little better, having taken both a long nap and a long bath after releasing what felt like every tear she possessed. There was nothing quite as cathartic as a good cry.

Sam went down to get some more whiskey as Kitty drew beers for her customers. She hardly noticed as a new patron entered the saloon. He made his way to an open spot at the bar and tipped his hat. "Hello, Kitty," he said with a tenuous smile.

"Hi Matt," she returned, making eye contact briefly before looking down uncomfortably.

Awkward silence hung in the air for several seconds until Matt uncharacteristically broke it. "How are you doing?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

She gave him a weak smile. "I'm fine," she answered.

She had wondered what she would say to him when he came back. She had been prepared to tell him everything, how his behavior had left her feeling alone and unimportant in his life. How much she had needed him and how little he had offered.

That's what she was going to say, until she saw him. But when his blue eyes met hers, she could tell that somehow, he already knew. His expression was one of compassion and understanding, of longing to erase the hurt and determination to make it right again. No other man had ever looked at her that way. Plenty had looked, but only Matt had ever truly seen her.

"Listen, I was thinking…" he began. "There's a new restaurant that just opened up outside of town. Would you like to eat dinner there tonight?" he asked.

Kitty surveyed the crowded room. "Oh, I don't know," she said hesitantly. "I'd hate to leave Sam alone when we're this busy."

"He can handle it, can't you Sam?" Matt replied a little louder as he saw the barkeep emerging from the back.

"Handle what?" Sam asked.

"The Long Branch. I'd like to take Kitty out to dinner tonight." Matt said.

Sam smiled approvingly. "Yes, Sir," he replied.

"What do you say?" Matt asked Kitty. He wasn't about to assume he could make this decision for her. Not tonight.

"I guess I say we've got a date" she responded warmly.

**MKMKMKMKMKM**

Kitty freshened up and quickly changed her dress before dinner. The dress she had on was lovely, but she knew how much he liked the blue one.

Matt had rented a buggy for the occasion—this wasn't Delmonico's, after all. He pulled up in front of The Long Branch right on time, and Kitty was ready. She smiled as he stood to help her up. He was wearing his courting suit, as she jokingly called it. Except tonight it felt like it might live up to the name.

It was a beautiful night for a ride, with a light cool breeze and a clear sky sparkling with stars. They talked all the way to Hannigan's Restaurant, though not about anything important. It was just nice to have a relaxing evening together again.

Hannigan's did not disappoint. The atmosphere was elegant but cozy, the food delicious but reasonably priced. Matt had deferred the wine selection to the expert, and she had made an excellent choice. Best of all, there were no distractions. No Chester running in to interrupt, no obligation to talk to people they knew at Delmonico's—just the two of them.

Matt finally summoned up the courage to say what had been on his mind all evening. It was going to be an emotional mea culpa, and it was going to be difficult for him.

"Kitty, I owe you an apology," he began. He paused, but she didn't offer a response. Kitty was normally a talker, but right now she was all ears.

"I think I know why you were so upset earlier, and you had every right to be," he admitted. "I should have been more sensitive to what you've been going through. You needed me and I wasn't there for you."

"Go on," she said with a straight face.

"You're not going to make this any easier, are you?" he asked.

"Nope," she replied with an expression of slight amusement.

Matt sighed. "It's not that I didn't care, Kitty. You know that."

"I know that," she replied. "But I've felt for the last month like I've been paddling a canoe with one oar, and you were just standing there watching me from the banks of the river. Why did you leave me out there alone, going around in circles?"

Matt ran large fingers through his wavy hair and tried to come up with an honest answer. "I didn't mean to," he said. "Kitty, you're the strongest woman I know. I didn't think you needed my help in the beginning, because you know how to handle men like that. I thought he was harmless and we'd be laughing about him soon."

She understood how he could have felt that way. But so much had happened after that.

"Then he bought The Lady Gay and I had no way to stop him," he continued. "I couldn't arrest the guy, and I felt useless. You were hurting and I couldn't fix it, and there's nothing harder for me than that. If I can't _do_ something about a problem, I don't know how to handle it. I seem to be a whole lot better at doing things than I am at talking about them."

"Is that a fact," she said dryly.

Matt responded with a sheepish grin. "Kitty, if had known how far he would go, I would have done things differently," he said. "I've thought about nothing else since last night. I should have stayed with you instead of leaving you alone. I should have done a lot of things. But I promise I will never stand by while someone disrespects you like that again. Even if you can handle it yourself, you deserve a man who wants to make sure you don't have to."

Kitty smiled. For a man who often had trouble with words, she didn't know if she had ever heard anything more beautiful.

"Matt, you don't have to arrest people to be useful to me," she said softly. You just have to love me."

"Is that so?" he responded playfully. "Well, _that's_ something I happen to be good at," he said with a twinkle in his eyes. "What do you say we go home so I can show you?"

Kitty raised her eyebrows. "Check, please!"

They enjoyed a peaceful ride home. Kitty snuggled up against her man, her head resting in the crook of his arm as he steered the buggy back to Dodge. They heard nothing but the clip clop of hooves and an occasional coyote, finding no need to talk. They had said everything they needed to say for one night.

They returned the buggy and walked down Front Street toward The Long Branch, much like the previous night. Matt had no intention of making an early exit this time.

Kitty got out her key as they approached the door. "Thank you for a lovely evening, Matt," she teased as she pretended to bid him goodnight.

"Oh no you don't," he chided. "You can't leave me out here with this thing," he said, drawing her close enough to feel his excitement. She reached up and gave him a soft kiss. "Let's see what I can do about that," she whispered.

As Kitty put her key in the door, a man staggered by carrying a bottle. He brushed against her shoulder, pushing her slightly off balance. Matt caught her and she shot the man a dirty look.

"Sorry, Ma'am," he mumbled.

Kitty nodded. "That's OK."

The man squinted as he struggled to focus. "Say, you're pretty," he gushed, taking his hat off as he got a clearer view of the woman he had almost knocked down.

Matt stood straight and towered over the inebriated stranger. "Back off, Mister," he said in his best stern voice, exchanging an impish look with Kitty. "She's mine."

The End.

_I've got sunshine on a cloudy day _

_When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May_

_I guess you'd say_

_What can make me feel that way?_

_My Girl._

_-The Temptations _


End file.
